Throwing a ZILF Party

August 15, 2009 by  
Filed under Advice & Tips, Dating, Party Planning

Throwing A ZILF Party
Emma Balmer

What do you do you feel like you never have enough time to spend with your zombie, but your friends start to complain that you never spend time with them? The answer is simple: host a party.

Sometimes called ‘mixers’, these are the perfect, easy-to-create scenarios that not only gives you a chance to showcase your host/hostess talents, but it also provides a great environment for your two worlds to meet, to interact and, just maybe, make a love connection of their own.

Preparation Is Key

When baking a cake, you need to have all of your flour, vanilla extract, eggs, etc. available before you can proceed. When planning a party, it’s equally important to ensure you have all of the right “ingredients” that remind all attending of the many joys of living.

  1. Arrange your furniture to accommodate your guests.
    By moving chairs and couches into a semi-circle and forcing guests to sit near one another, there is more of a certainty that a given conversation will include lots of attentive ears. Footstools and end tables should be removed so as to protect any fragile zombies who may be prone to comedic pratfalls. There seems to always be at least one!
  2. Stock up on clear beverages.
    For some reason, zombies can be overly sensitive, so avoiding wines, ales and other dark spirits is in everyone’s best interest. Clear beverages will automatically take away the risk of accidental stains caused by general carelessness or leaky stomachs, thereby avoiding any and all guilty tears.
  3. Help set the mood with the right music.
    Slow and lumbering by nature, zombies prefer a tempo they can keep up with. Some zombie favorites include Tex Varney’s The Melodic Sounds of Dripping Water and the Parnell Sisters’ Succession of Classic Doorbell Rings. Or, if you can’t find such selections at your local record store, try making your own mix.
  4. Be sure to provide plenty of snacks.
    No sight is more pathetic than a hungry guest with nothing to eat but ice cubes. For your guests that are living, your best bet is to provide them the variety that comes with a deli platter from your local market. For those of your guests who may be dead, inquire with your butcher about any meat that may have recently turned. To sum up, the best way to avoid grumbling guests is to avoid grumbling tummies.

  5. Have a few “icebreakers” ready…just in case.
    A great way to ease your guests into their comfort zones is to have them take part in a group activity. Games such as word association or trivia are fun, but may isolate some of your zombie guests whose vocabulary and short-term memory are embarrassingly limited. Other games, such as Charades and staring contests, allow all of your guests to participate at more or less equal skill levels.

Avoid Trouble By Planning Ahead

No party, human or zombie, is ever perfect; inevitably something goes wrong you couldn’t have anticipated. It is impossible to predict what and when something does go awry, but a good host/hostess can do some preparation to insure an easy resolution to a few of the more common party blunders.

  1. Have extra clothes on hand.
    Whether they be men or women, no zombie wants to walk into a party only to find another zombie wearing the same shroud.
  2. Place lots of pillows throughout the house.
    Zombies are at so many different levels of decomposition that it is impossible to keep up with who is breakable and who is not. Although you cannot prevent a brittle femur from crumbling, you can ensure that your guest has a soft landing when it does.

  3. Have your dogs spend the night elsewhere.
    This one is a “no brainer,” as they say. Allowing a dog, especially a rambunctious one, anywhere near the exposed bone or gaping wound of any guest is simply a recipe for disaster. Save your guests the embarrassment of having to search the backyard for missing pieces and put Fido up in a nice pet hotel.
  4. Set aside one room as a time out space.
    While it is true that most zombies tend to prefer solitude to socializing with their own kind, you will find the majority polite and friendly toward one another. Since the field of inter-zombie socialization is relatively young, it is best to invite those zombies you’re sure can safely mingle. However, if, at any point, the party is interrupted by sudden growling or unprovoked biting, you will find that a time out room is just the thing to calm moods or repair hurt feelings.