Places to take your ZILF on a Date

August 15, 2009 by  
Filed under Advice & Tips, Dating, Fun Date Ideas

Fun Dates For You and Your ZILF
Emma Balmer

Once you’ve gotten the nerve to ask out a ZILF and they’ve answered, “Naarrghh,” then it is time to decide where to go on a date. Since you and your ZILF are in the getting to know one another phase of your relationship, it’s always best to plan your date around an activity that is innocent and cost-effective but, more importantly, fun.

A Bowling Alley

Bowling is a fun way to show your good-natured competitiveness and physical prowess. It’s a public sport, but the individual lanes provides you and your ZILF the proper one-on-one experience that helps make a date great. *NOTE – Never let your ZILF use a heavy ball when bowling. Loose ligaments, brittle bones and a heavy ball are not a good formula for fun and safety.

Miniature Golf

Not only is a round of miniature golf a wholesome activity, but it is also slow-moving, low-impact and involves terrain that is relatively flat. These are the exact kinds of activities your ZILF was designed for. Stand back and watch, you will be amazed at how your ZILF will excel and shine. *NOTE – If possible, let your ZILF win. This fills them with a level of confidence that you will no doubt find irresistible.

An Amusement Park or Carnival

Rides provide you with the perfect excuse to sit close. If the ride is a “thrill ride”, this gives you the chance to be the brave one onto which your ZILF can hold tightly. When playing a game, try to win a prize. Even if they don’t show it, at first, all ZILFs loved to receive stuffed animals and/or novelty mugs. *NOTE – Despite their being available at every turn, try to avoid too many sweets or greasy foods. Many ZILFs have not eaten in decades and these foods might upset their delicate stomachs (assuming they still have one).


Human or ZILF, young, old or reanimated, everyone loves a picnic. Be sure to bring a blanket that is big enough for both of you to relax on, two or more beverages (always allow choices) and, for food, some picnic staples such as potato salad, seasonal fruits, a baguette, fried chicken or lightly seasoned spareribs (with a ZILF at your side, there will never be any concern about leftover bones, thereby lowering your carbon footprint) *NOTE – Picnics are best when they are one-on-one, so avoid any place where either of you might run into someone you know like your neighborhood park or graveyard.
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