Q: What is a ZILF?
A: ZILF is merely an acronym for Zombies In Loving Friendships.
Q: But wait! Aren’t zombies the walking dead that eat human flesh?
A: Of course not. Read more about Facts Vs. Myths.
|Q: Is every dead celebrity a ZILF?
A: Heavens no. The term is used to reference those dead idols that are considered attractive by an overwhelming majority. Some cultural icons and sex symbols (i.e. Valentino, Marilyn Monroe) definitely fall into the ZILF category while others (i.e. W.C. Fields, Bea Arthur), although revered and adored for their work, are not usually looked upon with ZILFish intentions.
Q: So, let me see if I understand. So, for guys, Marilyn Monroe is a ZILF. What about Ava Gardner?
A: She is a ZILF, as well.
Q: Okay, I think I got it. So, for the ladies, Elvis Presley is a ZILF. And what about Johnny Depp, is he a ZILF?
A: No, the mere fact of being alive negates Johnny Depp from that category.
Q: Man, this is a lot to think about. Does everyone have this much trouble comprehending it?
A: Nope, just you.
Q: When exactly will the zombie apocalypse happen?
A: Click Here
Q: Do you have change for a $50?
A: All ZILF employees only carry $20 in change (literally).
Q: How do you attract a ZILF?
A: Click Here
Q: What if someone was cremated? Will they come back as a zombie?
A: Unfortunately, we are forever robbed of all romantic intention due to the horrific act of cremation. A buried body will become a zombie; cremation is permanent.
Q: How does GPS work?
A: A system of satellites orbits the earth, sending satellite data down towards our planet. The GPS receiver scans the sky for these signals and triangulates your location based upon which satellites it receives its signal from.
Q: You ZILF guys really have it all figured out. How do you explain all of the anti-zombie beliefs that most people subscribe to?
A: The main problem is that we live in a very media-centric society. People tend to believe something they see on television or in movies. Movies want to sell tickets and television stations want the high ratings, so this is why most media outlets offer up only anti-zombie lies and myths that proliferate upon themselves, leaving us with a world where zombies are feared and hated.
Q: Have any of you dated a ZILF?
A: Unfortunately, no. However, we are preparing for this preordained future with “…bated breath and whisp’ring humbleness.”
Q: Whisp’ring what? Why are you talking like that?
A: It’s a quote…Shylock…The Merchant of Venice.
Q: Is that an album?
Q: Isn’t that kinda, I dunno, gay?
Q: Wait a minute! Isn’t what ZILF is endorsing just a form of necrophilia?
A: Not even close. Necrophilia is the sick and disturbing act of engaging in sexual conduct with a lifeless body and at no time would we encourage anyone to have relations with a corpse. That is just sick. No, what we are all about are forming loving relationships with reanimated corpses. Because what is a zombie, really? A zombie is just another living being, one with feelings, with a heart, with needs.